National Divorce

The below is written in response to a fun email floating around the internet suggesting that the conservative citizens of the United States divorce the liberal citizens - dividing the country.  It got me to thinking……

It would have to be agreed that the land mass of each nation would consist of area currently occupied by people of liberal or conservative respective ideology, and that the separation would be based on geographic or demographic boundaries rather than State boundaries. Therefore the liberal nation, which I'll call the People's Republic of America, or PRA, is severely divided, consisting of a fairly narrow strip along the west coast, the east coast from Boston to Washington DC with notable pockets of dissention, Hawaii, and Chicago. We'll assume the entire coastal region of California, Oregon, and Washington goes PRA including all of the LA basin, but north of that only as far inland as the coastal range in California and the Cascades in the two northern States. The PRA controls virtually none of the oil producing parts of the country except the offshore wells along the California coast which they are forced to ramp up to full production as even a Subaru or Prius requires some gasoline and because they lack almost all electrical power generation capability except fossil fuel production and limited nuclear.  Fossil fuel production of electricity is severely stressed while additional nuclear is brought online, this effort severely hampered by politics in spite of the desperate need. The PRA controls no timber or mineral resources and extremely limited food production, the California central valley and the Midwest "breadbasket" both being in the conservative region. The southern part of the west coast region of The PRA suffers from a severe lack of fresh water which had previously come from inland sources now unavailable. A huge public works program is initiated to bring water from the Willamette valley in Oregon to southern California, water rights protected by the United States being declared null and void, and the need to irrigate crops in the Willamette valley ignored.

The PRA does control, through the harnessing of labor, a large part of industry and technology, which provides them with something to trade for food, but their primary asset is complete control of the media and significant control of higher education as even though some notable universities lie within the conservative nation's land mass, the vast majority of faculty from these institutions immediately migrate to the PRA. They are temporarily missed.

Washington DC is maintained as the official capitol of The PRA providing a sense of legitimacy in its attempt to establish foreign relations throughout the world, but the true seat of power is Los Angeles. New York takes on a tertiary roll; its primary contribution to the PRA is the United Nations.

On the other hand... the conservative nation which I'll call The United States of America is a solid block of citizens somewhat hampered by lack of seaports except along it's southern coast, but never-the-less self sufficient. Still bound by the Constitution of the United States of America, and now giving it proper respect, this "New USA" would be temporarily challenged by debate over the location of a capitol, likely candidates being Denver, Houston, Atlanta, and Dallas. But in a brilliant political maneuver to become known as the Elvis Compromise, the new seat of federal government in the USA becomes Memphis and Graceland the new White House. Debates to determine a location for a new capitol building for housing the two houses of the federal legislature take place over the internet and realization dawns that nearly all legislative business can be carried on in this manner eliminating the need for a capitol building, and allowing legislators to remain in their home States in touch with their constituents while being less available to lobbyists.

The first order of business of this rejuvenated, relocated legislature is to authorize oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and northern Alaska. This followed by the creation of a fair tax code and the shrinking of government in nearly all arenas. Based on the notion that offshore and northern Alaska oil is the property of the people of the USA, a tax on this production makes funds available for research into a variety of energy programs based on the theory that the USA does not lack energy, but simply lacks portable energy.  Research is focused on using available energy sources such as wind, solar, natural gas, and nuclear for charging fuel cells. Further investment in the form of corporate loans goes into the creation of fuel cell automobiles and fuel cell distribution infrastructure.

No longer constrained by ever growing socialistic policies of the "Old USA" the new USA is free to develop into the capitalistic nation envisioned by the Founders and Framers. Of particular interest is, finally, the realization of social equality and acceptance. With each person free to rise to his/or/her full potential unhampered by unfair taxes and governmental control within a welfare state, resentment of ones fellow citizens dissipate and while old prejudices die slowly, they would be virtually eliminated within a generation.

With movies and television from across the border now completely controlled by blatant liberalism these forms of entertainment quickly fall out of favor at least until production capabilities develop within the new nation. In the meantime families would learn to communicate and young people would learn to think for themselves. This trend would be reinforced as young college students are exposed to educators previously unacceptable to the old order institutions of higher learning.

On the other hand... in the PRA, food and other essentials became more and more scarce even while the government is controlled by a naive liberal elite that refuses to give up the dream of cradle to grave welfare. Ever shrinking production produced by an ever shrinking percentage of the population leads to hoarding and resentment causing people to cluster to their own kind for comfort and support causing prejudice and distrust between races and classes. Eventually this leads to the break up of The PRA into its two primary geographical parts, East Coast PRA and West Coast PRA leaving Chicago dangling and turning to Canada, and Hawaii ignored except as a favorite vacation destination of West PRA government officials. This division would further complicate food and energy shortages in the east forcing that once great region to turn to the USA for help and eventual reunification - back into the fold with lessons learned by all but a few Kennedys.

Washington DC, back in the USA, becomes a virtual amusement park with the original White House and capital building along with many other ex-government facilities becoming part of the Smithsonian.  Visitors from around the world enjoy wandering through the oval office and speculating on various famous or infamous events that have taken place there…  The pentagon again becomes headquarters for the armed forces of The United States of America.

Other than Washington DC, the city most affected by these events is New York. Wall Street will never again be the focal point of world business. These functions within the USA have been split between Denver and Dallas, but during the uncertain times surrounding the original breakup, most stock traders turned to previously little known exchanges in Canada - notably The Winnipeg Stock Exchange due to its convenient time zone. The Statue of Liberty, unmolested but largely ignored under the PRA once again becomes a favorite tourist attraction - with possibly greater appreciation than before. Most of Central park had become grazing land for PRA government produced cattle. The bovine are sold at auction and the proceeds pay for a huge reunification celebration complete with fireworks over New York Harbor.

West PRA continues to go by that name even after East PRA ceases to exist. The northern portion of this nation, pulled into the original PRA only by the influence of the cities, notably Eugene, Portland, and Seattle, becomes more and more discontent with being the primary producers of food ever hampered by lack of water, while public policy continues to be controlled by bureaucrats that appear to believe that meat and produce are somehow magically manufactured in the basement of Safeway by contented union workers. Secret negotiations brokered by corporate officers at Boeing and Microsoft bring about annexation back into the USA of all of West PRA that lies north of the Golden Gate. West PRA is powerless to interfere, but Hollywood generates several movies and documentaries demonstrating how the citizens of the previous northern portion of West PRA were coerced.

At this point of course West PRA is crippled and completely dependant on the USA for food, wood products, fresh water, and protection from foreign interference - notably Mexico and Venezuela. In spite of this they remain quasi-independent for decades, the leaders refusing to admit defeat and the citizens refusing to vote them out of office in spite of their obvious failure.  By the time these attitudes break down under the strain of destitution, the citizens of the USA have become reticent to bring this hotbed of liberalism back into the country. People that once held some sympathy or apathy toward socialism have now had its personality unveiled and, more importantly, the value of true freedom and capitalism demonstrated. The obvious financial burden of revitalizing the now impoverished PRA is also a factor.

Final reunification is triggered, as these things so often happen in history, by the actions of a citizen rather than a government official. A young, talented, but previously unknown filmmaker creates a documentary called “America, the Unappreciated” in an underground studio in Hollywood in the heart of the struggling PRA. In it he shows the history of the United States contrasted with that of Europe, Russia, China, and indeed the entire world.  He features the philosophies of the American founders and other great thinkers of the Enlightenment, showing the conflicting politics and yet common love of freedom of great minds like Jefferson, Hamilton, Adams, Paine, Madison, Diderot, Smith, Voltaire, Locke, Franklin and many others that by apparent miracle existed at that critical time and combined to bring a new society of freedom to a new world. He shows the true heroism of Washington willingly giving up power when the crown of America was his for the taking. This young filmmaker does not gloss over the follies and mistakes of America: slavery, a horrible civil war, a too ready eagerness to fight without exhausting diplomacy; but he shows these compromises and mistakes in their accurate historic backdrop making them understandable, however unjustifiable. He shows how America learned and grew from all of its history, the good and the bad, to become the hope and deliverance of the world.  He shows how America rose at least twice to save the world from global despotism and many times to save parts of it from localized slavery. He shows the historic genius and generosity of the American people when allowed to create and to choose the objects of their charity. This young filmmaker shows a heroic America that had never been seen or understood by the general population of any part of the world.

The production quality of the film is poor demonstrating its tiny budget, but the research is thorough, the presentation brilliant, and the timing ripe. Released on DVD in the United States as its only commercial means of distribution it finds a hungry market. Most of the distribution in the PRA is pirated DVDs with no record of distribution numbers, but its influence is undeniable.  Within weeks patriotic fervor on both sides of the border generate rumors of final reunification.  Citizens of the PRA suddenly want to rejoin America; Americans are suddenly willing to foot the bill.

Coincidentally, or perhaps not, the release is six weeks before elections in the PRA.  Liberal legislators are removed from office by the dozen, replaced mostly by slightly less liberal alternatives, but in a few cases by truly conservative legislators whose candidacies had been considered symbolic with no chance of success.

Total reunification is an anti-climax with only muted celebration which is more like a national sigh of relief.  Liberalism is not dead in the United States of America; there are still those that believe that citizens owe cradle to grave welfare to one another; from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs, controlled by a large government bureaucracy. But their political clout is crippled for decades and their allies, Hollywood and academia, have been transformed, or at least politically silenced for the foreseeable future, though some in academia would privately lament the cruel coincidence that put food, timber, mineral, and oil resources in the conservative part of the US, continuing to lack the understanding that it is no coincidence that the producing regions of a civilization are also the conservative regions.

The world in general is also affected by “America, the Unappreciated” and for a time, criticism of the United States becomes unpopular around the world. 

Most Americans don't care.